I have this friend, let’s call her Za, with whom I have been friends with since the fourth grade.
We had our ups and downs (We had this huge down where we didn’t talk for a year) but we always patched things up.
Thing is, now I wonder if there is no need to patch something that has been broken for so long.
To be honest, I have never really forgiven her for the things she did in the past and I think she hasn’t forgiven me either.
I have always seen her as my best friend but now that I think of it, maybe we aren’t even friends to begin with. There are friends that are able to overcome simple things, but we sort of drift apart when things get rough and come back when they get better. Thing is, I don’t want that anymore. I want a friend that is there for me through all times and not one that is there when it’s most convenient.
It made me mad, because I was frustrated at my situation but now I get it.
We have just grown apart. As much as it hurts and it sucks, we aren’t friends anymore. We used to be but now not anymore.
We were friends because we were in the same school and we only had each other and the minute you leave that environment, many of your ‘friends’ also leave.
The only reason we found back to another was because we only had each other to turn back to. There was no one else and we were each-others closest thing to a best friend.
I feel like I am coming across as rude and trust me that is the last thing I’m trying to do. I have simply realized that people change and there is nothing wrong with that. I have changed and grown as a person and Za has done the same. We are becoming different people and maybe one day we will be able to come back together as friends, but right now we are better off going our separate ways.
She is away and living her life and I need to do the same.
I need to let myself grow and not be held back by people, simply because I don’t want to offend them.
Maybe Za leaving was a good thing, maybe it was just what I really needed.


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