Hope sprouts like a flower and just like a flower you need to tend to it. Water it with love, if not it will wilt.
I have been struggling with hope. Hope of a better future, hope of better me, hope that maybe someday I will feel happy again.
Yesterday I felt hopeless. I go through phases where I feel so utterly hopeless, like a fire is put out by a single blow. It comes at random times and yesterday was one of those.
It was like a blow to the gut and I just began crying. It feels like my insides are tearing at one another.I had a breakdown and I didn’t even know what to do.
Things aren’t going that great in my life, as much as I try to have it go a better way. I have no idea what will happen in a few months or tomorrow, everything is just a blurry mess.
Nothing has ever been certain in my life and it’s taking a toll on me.
I always had that glimmer of hope, no matter what. I carried it around with me, holding it close and letting it give me strength. Now? The little bit of hope seems to be crumbling away and I will be left with absolutely nothing to hold on to.
My flower is wilting.

I don’t know why I’m sharing this but I feel like no one else will listen to me, don’t really have any friends who I am this close to. People I can really trust. I don’t want to further burden my family, they’re going through enough..

This is just me, using my last shred of hope in thinking perhaps that publishing this out into the world, maybe the universe will hear me and be a guiding light and help me.
So if the Universe gets this : I just want to be happy, have good things come into my life and have the negative things be driven away for good.

With love,
Isabell

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