I recently got this book from a friend (wreck this journal) and I know the main premises of the book is to destroy it and do things to it. But alas I am a coward and I could never do that. I love books and I just really don’t fancy the idea of destroying one – or anything for that matter.
So instead of doing that I write things into the pages that correlate to the task given – at least I’ll try to. So, one of the pages asks you to drown it in water. Well, at least I think that’s what it asks of you, the book is in German and I thought I was fluent but apparently I am not (Some words sound so foreign to me, perhaps it’s because I rarely speak German nowadays, unless it’s with my mother).
So let’s just all assume it says to drown the page 😉

So this got me thinking, the word drowning itself.
I always thought that drowning doesn’t always have to involve water.
You can feel like drowning, while you’re in a crowd.
You can sometimes literally feel yourself going under in that sea of people.
They drag you along like a tide and as much as you try, you can’t go against the stream, so you find yourself drifting along.
But you also feel like you’re drowning when you’re sad. I am speaking of real sadness. You’re lungs suddenly feel heavy, like they’re filled with lead.
No one is there to help you and you feel your emotions taking over.
You become aware of the heaviness of the world and it’s crushing you.
You begin to drown under all the emotions inside of you and like a flood it breaks all barriers and covers every crevice of your body, forcing it to go under.
Sometimes I feel like drowning is horrible than the scenarios mentioned above.
When you drown, physically, you will lose consciousness at some point and it will be over in a few minutes (sometimes even under a minute). But when you drown mentally?
That can last hours, days or even a life-time.

I hope you liked this analogy, although it was very sad.

With love,
Isabell ❤


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