The Problem

The problem with you is
That you always need to be right.
You revel in making the perfect
Move, sound or statement.

The problem with me is
That I am always in between
Never right or wrong.
I dance clumsily between perfection
And a slippery slope of mistakes.

The problem with forever is
that is does not last.
But it is long enough for us
to figure it out, and with each
move, sound and statement,
We dance into our perfection.

I hate…

I hate your playful smile, 
but how you never laugh,
I hate that you wink at me, 
And at anyone else for that matter,
I hate your unnerving know-it all comments,
Even if you’re always right,
I hate that you’re so incredibly talented,
but simply shrug it off like it’s no big deal, 
But most of all I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you. 

The Devil

(I wrote this about a guy whose last name was devil, hence the title. Didn’t even like him, just liked his name 😉 )

Your devilish smile lures people in,
Your eyes hold the captive,
They begin to revel in the symphony;
In the warm melody of your soul.

Color of you

Draw me in with your casual demeanor
Color me in with your wicked smile,
Erase me with one cold look,
Leave me empty with expectation.

Life Left its Mark

The world was wonder.
the world was new,
But everything she touched,
Everything turned blue.

Her eyes would glimmer,
Sometimes they’d shine,
But then she fell far down,
and no one offered her a line.

Something to hold on to,
A little light in the dark,
But she was too hopeful,
and life left its mark.

I am just me

I am no Hercules,
I cannot hold the world,
I cannot hold your world,
but I will hold your hand
and give you strength.

I am no Apollo,
I have no way with words
or any charm to help me,
but my hear is kind and
it beats solely for you.

I am just me.
Faceless in a crowd,
voiceless in a mob,
but my love for you runs deep,
like the river Seine and
I feel myself going under.

Take chances

I have been trying to get into a university and have already sent out tons of letters. I have applied for UniversitiesI could have easily gotten into and I did. I received a lot of acceptance letters but I knew I wasn’t pushing myself. I knew I needed to sign up to a University where I wouldn’t be sure I’d get in. Heck , where I was sure I wouldn’t. I signed up to two unis where my chances were very low of getting in. I just barely had the grades required to get in and I knew other students were much much better. But at the beginning of the year I told myself to take more chances. No more “what ifs” are going to plague me. I will do the things I want to do in life.

I sent off the letters, already happy with my decision – I only wanted to prove to myself that I was going to do it. I had no hopes of getting in, I just wanted to make sure I tried everything. So I sent off the letters and hadn’t given the universities a second thought.

fast forward to a few days ago? I have received two emails and both were letters of acceptance. I was accepted. I couldn’t believe my luck. I cried, I screamed and then proceeded to cry some more. My parents were elated and I just kept re-reading the letters, making sure I hadn’t misread anything.

This little story is supposed to tell you to take chances because although you may think you’ll fail, there is still a possibility of you succeeding. Do it to get rid of the nagging feeling of what if , that is already a good start. You don’t want to live your life with regrets.and I know i would have regretted not applying to those universities. I did it because I didn’t want to regret anything, but in return doors have opened for me, doors that I have thought were locked. Take chances, for yourself and for your conscience !

don’t immediately think you will fail, give it your best and see what happens. In the end – even if you failed you know you gave it your best and that you can move on, without asking yourself “what if?”.

I hope this pushed you to take a few chances, do something you’ve been scared to. Ask your crush on a date , try to get into the university of your dreams, do the things you’ve always dreamed of doing.

in the end you will either succeed and be happy or not succeed but happy that you’ve at least tried!

with love ❤,

isabell


i haven’t posted anything in a while but i want to start posting more frequently! I have a few ideas but if you want me to write about something or maybe give some advice, comment down below and I’ll get to it!

xxx

People don’t cause your happiness

There was this girl. This girl was horrible in maths and she was accepting of it, until she had this ONE teacher. This teacher put her down and made her feel like she was less.
So she made it a goal of hers to prove that she was not stupid. She’d spend hours upon hours studying for a subject she wasn’t good in and didn’t like. She spend money on tuition and yet none of that made a difference. But she made sure she never failed and it ruined her slowly. She’d spend most of her time studying for a subject she’d fail, no matter how much she’d study and in return, she’d neglect her other subject (the ones she actually liked.) Now that girl is me.
I based my success in life upon one single subject. A subject I didn’t like and would never pursue in my later life. I’ll study something with media-management and communications. I need a little bit of maths but not the extend I learn in school right now.
Basically, I became sad about my situation. I would study hard and pay money on tuition and once the exam comes, I will score poorly. (Mind you, I’m not a bad student. I usually pass well and maths is the only subject where this happens).
Anyways, I would cry and beat myself up about the fact that I was dumb, but only because I knew my teacher thought that about me. I care about people think and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It becomes bad, once their opinion starts dictating your life.
I honestly don’t mind that I score badly in math, what I do care about is that my math teacher thinks I’m stupid and I want to prove to him otherwise. I want him to see me as a smart, competent student that will achieve things in their life.
But I have finally come to the realization that I should care about him. I don’t like him as a teacher nor as a person and he doesn’t like me either. When some kid in school doesn’t like me, I don’t care very much. I’m not a horrible person and I try my best to be nice to everyone, so their judgement is uncalled for and doesn’t reflect upon my character.
Anyways, a couple of days ago I finally realized that I don’t care about my maths teacher.
I got my exam back and I didn’t do too well but it was fine . I didn’t feel upset and I didn’t let his snide comments faze me. I was fine and I knew I would continue to be fine.
At the end of the day people cannot dictate your happiness. It doesn’t come from a grade from one subject or from one person. It should come from within. We need to find our own happiness and not ones that are created by other people or things.
I don’t know why I’m writing this, but I just felt so happy when I didn’t care. It never happened before in his class and it just created some sort of peace within me. I felt more calm.
So to those that base their happiness upon one thing that doesn’t benefit you, doesn’t define you and won’t help you, let it go. You are better than this and you deserve more.
We should hang on to things that make us sad, just because we hope that one day (if we ever succeed at it, although it doesn’t make us happy during the process) we become happy towards the end. It’s about the journey. If you can’t smile during the journey, will you actually smile when you achieved something? Yes you need to put hard work into something you want to achieve but usually that’s something you like in life. It doesn’t cause you to have panic attacks and severe sadness.

I don’t know where I’m going with this but I want people to know that you can always change and change how you react to things. If you don’t like it, you can leave. You will be happier afterwards and you will find inner peace.

 

with love,

isabell

People Change and That’s Ok

I have this friend, let’s call her Za, with whom I have been friends with since the fourth grade.
We had our ups and downs (We had this huge down where we didn’t talk for a year) but we always patched things up.
Thing is, now I wonder if there is no need to patch something that has been broken for so long.
To be honest, I have never really forgiven her for the things she did in the past and I think she hasn’t forgiven me either.
I have always seen her as my best friend but now that I think of it, maybe we aren’t even friends to begin with. There are friends that are able to overcome simple things, but we sort of drift apart when things get rough and come back when they get better. Thing is, I don’t want that anymore. I want a friend that is there for me through all times and not one that is there when it’s most convenient.
It made me mad, because I was frustrated at my situation but now I get it.
We have just grown apart. As much as it hurts and it sucks, we aren’t friends anymore. We used to be but now not anymore.
We were friends because we were in the same school and we only had each other and the minute you leave that environment, many of your ‘friends’ also leave.
The only reason we found back to another was because we only had each other to turn back to. There was no one else and we were each-others closest thing to a best friend.
I feel like I am coming across as rude and trust me that is the last thing I’m trying to do. I have simply realized that people change and there is nothing wrong with that. I have changed and grown as a person and Za has done the same. We are becoming different people and maybe one day we will be able to come back together as friends, but right now we are better off going our separate ways.
She is away and living her life and I need to do the same.
I need to let myself grow and not be held back by people, simply because I don’t want to offend them.
Maybe Za leaving was a good thing, maybe it was just what I really needed.